First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just cut my nipple shaving
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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