Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize