I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
