Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
