Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
