We're like a lot better than the average bears
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
