I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
