Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
