Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
