Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you traded sex for a burrito?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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