Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
