Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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