So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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