my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Damn victory sex feels great
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
