i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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