is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
