I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
