You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
