You're my little dorito
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
