I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
