So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You smell like a Billy Joel song
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Alive.
So much puke
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
