they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
