I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
