We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
