she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
