I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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