this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
