Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
