he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
