so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What a dumb baby whore.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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