i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just found puke in my bra..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
