They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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