so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize