Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
