hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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