We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
