so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My bed smells like the plague
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