he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm really busy with my period
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