When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
