well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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