there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
