At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is wine microwaveable?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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