how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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