No stitches, just platelets and will power
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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