that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
