and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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