i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you made out with another girl for some wings
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
