Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
