just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize