At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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