Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
