help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
