I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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