Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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