so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize