Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
