I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
