so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
