toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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