I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
In America we eat man semen.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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