Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
