Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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