id be glad to
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
