Cold hands, warm shart.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize